Saturday, February 02, 2008

Paolini Rides Again

A week or so ago I logged into the computer at work, like usual, and checked the press page for all the juicy book gossip- you know, who's coming out with what, which book Oprah has decreed shall be the next best seller, etc.

And then, like a dung-colored beacon of awfulness, I saw it...


Pronounced BRIS-ing-er, this is the third book of Paolini's infamously horrible Inheritance trilogy.

And it was on my front page!

There was a press link, so I clicked on it. I have never regretted clicking on a link more in my life, not even when I was goatsed.

No, ladies and gentleman, not even that could compare to the dripping fawnery drizzled about the page. Printed off, it was a one-page update about the status of Brisingr.

Apparently, the book world responded so enthusiastically to the idea that one of their all-time best-selling authors (Ca-ching) had actually announced when he would be releasing his new book, that the release date was actually MOVED FORWARD three days, meaning that Brisingr will now be released on September 20th, 2008, but not only that!

No, my friends! Just when I had thought that Paolini finally got some sense and changed the release date from the 23rd just to acquiesce to my superior whims and desires (you will remember that I was upset about the release date, being as September 23rd is one of my all-time favorite days), he revealed HIS PARTY-PLAN OF D00000000000M!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES! There is actually going to be a celebration on the eve of the release of Brisingr, just like the celebrations for the release of the Harry Potter books!

Umm, excuse me? Paolini does not equal Rowling.

On the other hand, good for the kid. That's excellent publicity, and should make him happy. I just refuse to attend. I REFUSE to work that night. I'll say something awful to a customer, I just know I will...


another writer said...

You're so obsessed with this boy ... so much that I think in a way, you're promoting it on your blog ! You know, there's no bad publicity etc etc ...

Give that some thought ;)

Jaden said...

I'm with ya.

You know the sad part of this story? Paolini is going to have hundreds, maybe THOUSANDS of girls at his 'party', who all think he is God or at least Buddha.

I guess his writing paid off... ;)

I wonder if what there'll be to drink at the party: butterbeer, 'mead' or 'dwarf-beer'?

- Jaden

Anonymous said...

You know if it wasn't against Paolini I would have to say I would join you in this whole affair. But since you have pushed it to the limits of him actually equalling rowling is just wrong. Plus I am NOT with you because you are accusing him for what the fans and I for one think the books are great. Savannah you know this is fine that you don't like the books and that this is your blog but to tell you the truth I think your taking it to far. This is just stupid and all.

Although you don't like the books doesn't mean you have to rant and rave about it every chance you get. Come on. If you saw what I can definently see in this blog is that you just totally hate everything he, Paolini, does. You seriously need to take a look at what your posting seriously.

Anonymous said...

your a fucking douche man, get a damn life and stop picking on people who have done more with their lives than you.
do me a favor and kill yourself you gay motherfucker.

kutukucing-bayi said...

Oh... is he that awful??? I love his book, even you know that before. He's kind, down to earth, I thought you just has a jealous in your mind -or heart- whatever. You cannot judge that bad. EVIL.

Heriberto said...

You sir, are an IDIOT! How dare you say "Paolini's infamously horrible Inheritance trilogy." He is a GENIOUS, obviously unlike you. LIke I said, you are a MORON.