Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Let the Gnomies Unite (What is with all these homeschooled kids?)

Being mostly Swedish, my heritage as celebrated in America is represented by a couple of things: Pickled herring (A yummy Christmas treat!), lutefisk (which should NEVER have been invented), and gnomes.

Yesterday I posted an entry that included this picture, which warranted a gnome-possession-lust from a very interesting person, who, as far as I can tell, is related to my fascinating friend, Jaden.

His name is Kaleb Nation, and we should all be very pleased to hear that, as a teenage author, he has an agent and is sprinting swiftly towards publishment with his book The Farfield Curse.

But this is not the only reason why we should laud over him.

No, my friends. Kaleb Nation has a strange fascination with gnomes (and may be one himself! :O ).

For you, Kaleb, my comrade, I recommend the following book (and to all you gnomies out there as well).

Gnomes are not just cute little short men who tend gardens. Nor are they evil, despite what R. L. Stine says.

Gnomes are protectors of the forest and good-hearted humans. The different types of gnomes, their habits (including eating and sex!), life cycles, legends and more are explored in detail in this fabulous reference book written by two men who claim to have spent extensive time talking with and observing them (Whether this is true or not I doubt, but they go on about it so convincingly that I've been on the lookout for gnome traces since).

If you're in a bookstore try to see if they have this in stock (I know the one I worked at did, and it was a very small bookstore at that). Try to find the page where you can see NAKED GNOMES! *GASP*

Now, this is all very nice, but what I want to know is why exactly Kaleb has a fascination with gnomes. Is this because he is irreversibly odd, having been home-schooled? What is with all these home-schooled teenage boys pumping out the fantasy books?

Is Kaleb related to Paolini? Or worse, are they the same person? Has Paolini gone mental and invented a completely new identity, seeking to conquer the book world over again under a pseudonym?

Are they forming a secret army of lawn gnomes? Are your daisies safe?!


Kaleb said...

And they want to charge $40 for a Roaming Gnome. Thievery! Slave traders.
When researching gnomes i found that book. but my gnomes are a bit taller and many have migrated into the city.
Is it just me, or does that roaming gnome look like a pirate (flying white beard, huge coat, thick belt, funny hat...)?

Jaden said...

Damn. He's here.

(sigh)... time to roll up the artilery.

- Jaden

Kaleb said...

Not the artillery!

I couldn't resist when she wrote about a gnome. Gnomes, after all, are mine . I usually stay content in the shadows through Bloglines...

catherine said...

LOL! What? Kaleb and Paolini could be the same person...? Why, I never thought of that! It all makes sense now! ;)

Kidding, kidding... :P